Smiting Evil Monkeys...

Evil monkeys are everywhere. Some live in closets, but others? Well, they just sort of sneak up on you. This one dropped into my chair, and fortunately, I had my rattle.

So I smote it.

Smiting as it is means taking careful aim, and striking the evil critter with sufficient force that he gets the message. I sent him flying of my chair, and half way into another zip code....



He got the message. He has since been a good monkey. Personally, I was hoping that Obama would do a good job of smiting the banks. Alas, he hasn't seemed to actually suggested anything for them to get the message. Daddy says that 20 years ago they bailed out the Savings and Loans. Now, we're bailing out the banks. I'm expecting to have to do it again in 20 years...

Looooong drives...

Do you know what lies between Grandma and Grandpa's house and this new place we're moving to in some place called "Illinois"?

Well, neither do I. We left veryvery early with Grandma practically shoving us out the door.

It's long, it's boring, Grandpa drove, and staring out the window leads one to nod off and sleep. I thought the flight was long, but that drive? It was silly! It was a good excuse to sleep... Mommy fed me twice on the trip, which was cool.

So we arrived in Northbrook, Illinois and watched the movers leave. Everything was still in boxes, which was ok, so I got to watch everybody unpack. If Christmas is like this, I think I could enjoy it!

Eventually, we headed out for dinner. It was a place called "Yardhouse". I didn't like it -- it was too noisy. I kept crying whenever I was inside, making daddy take me for a walk to keep from disturbing the others. They enjoyed the food, but hey, it wasn't my cup of tea.... Besides, I like milk anyways!

New Friends!

I met Betty and Julian today. They thought I was the totally most cutest thing ever! I was very inclined to agree with them, as I am the most totally cutest thing.


They were so totally thrilled, they even sent me a prezzie! So they are definitely on my list of favorite people!

Grandma and Grandpa's house!

They have a swing. I like swings. Swings are so cool. I need to get my own swing. Definitely. I need my own swing.


They also have a dawg. His name is Hoppers, or Mister Hopps, Hopper Boppers, and simply, "Oi! Dawg!" He likes licking feet. It kinda tickles!

Flying!

Hey, you know the coolest way to travel? It's to fly! And I got to do that. We left Auntie Francine's place after saying "Goodbye" to Sophie and headed off in the car for a loooong trip. A good nap later, we arrived and stood in various queues. What few things I still owned mommy packed into a bag which then vanished into a big dangerous looking machine!

We then headed through security. Hurry up and wait in line, get checked, prodded, and watch even my nappy bag vanish into an even bigger, more evil looking machine. I'm not sure about all this stuff...

We then wandered through this terminal thing for a while... BORING! I tried to sleep...but couldn't. We then got on this big cylinder thing with wings, sat in some seats. How strange...


But it was ok, I got a window! How cool is that? I got to watch the clouds pass us by. Which was fun for, oh, 20 minutes. I then slept for the whole rest of the flight to Minneapolis...

Hot Dates!

I had my first kinda date. It was with this hot chick Sophie. My dad introduced us (yea, I know! Meeting girls through your parents is so totally uncool)

...and we hit it off right away! She totally worshiped me!

I, of course, was too cool. She kept calling me "baby", which was kinda sweet. I thought about calling her "Darlin'" or something cute like that, but of course, being a bloke, I was a bit too stunned by her and managed only a few drools.

What do you mean...

MOVING?!? I'm MOVING?!?

The first I found out about this is when some strange guys showed up and started putting my stuff in boxes. Yea, boxes.


All my toys disappeared. And I cried. And then my mat vanished. And I cried. And finally, I was bundled into my carseat and off we went to Francine's place as my chair also disappeared. Daddy promised me it would be like Christmas on the other end when we got to open all the boxes. But if that's what Christmas is, remind me to ask for a shotgun so I can keep all the elves from stealing my toys NEXT year!


The worst part about this is that I have yet to have a proper coffee from Joe's, Jack's or Mud. I'm yet to sample the world famous pizza. I haven't had a proper bagel, a proper slice of cheesecake, nor a true Ruben sandwich. Nor have I had a vodka gimlet. So, I'm clearly leaving New York at least a good 21 years too soon for my tastes!