I'm Moving?

Rumor has it I'm moving to Illinois.

I don't know where that is. It's clearly somewhere beyond Buy Buy Baby -- the farthest I've ventured from my flat. I'm told that there's a good park there, but as I can't go down the slides nor can I swing on the swings, I don't see the relevance. I'll need to find out where I can get the best sushi, the best beer, and figure out a new cable TV system to get my cartoons.

I'm not sure I can handle all this!